04 January 2010
So, have you realized that my generation is getting divorced typically before their first year of marriage? I am curious as to how many of my high school peer's marriages lasted. I know of at least 7 couples off the top of my head who have gotten divorced. In all honesty there were times when I absolutely hated my life and my marriage. There was many a time when I was ready to call my marriage a bust and move on. I don't know if it was Jon leaving for the Air Force or God pulling me out of my selfish misery, but I eventually found out that leaving my husband hurt more than fighting with him. As I talked to God, whether it was Him talking to me or not, I realized that the promise that I made to God to stay with my husband through thick and thin was supposed to be a forever kind of thing. I can't tell you when my marriage got better or what exactly made it so wonderful. What I can tell you is that once my husband and I let God back into our marriage so many blessings fell upon us. It was as if every path we took was paved by God and walked by angels. There is something so beautiful about being "us" that it honestly hurts to think about being "me". Don't get me wrong, there is no reason to lose yourself or lose who you are and become who you think your spouse wants you to be. People change all of the time, that's part of life, but it's amazing when you change with someone. I'm not even sure how to put into words what I'm feeling right now. I'm angry, frustrated, and plain ol' pissed off that so many people my age are so extremely selfish that divorce is the only way out to them. Do you remember why you even got married? Do you remember what it felt like to be in love so deep that you smiled every time you looked at that special someone? To feel like dancing wherever you go? To miss that someone when they are gone for more than a minute? There is no reason that you can't feel that way now. Granted you probably can't feel that way all of the time, but you can feel that often. God will show you how. I'm not the perfect Christian and my faith is weak, but I know that my marriage was a hollow illusion until we let God in. Now you'd better believe it ain't gonna be easy. He will make sure that you go through your trials, just like everyone else. He will also help you through those trials so that when you get through them your marriage is stronger and so is your faith. Have you seen Fireproof? If not, I highly recommend it. A comment is made that I have seen firsthand and I want to share it with you. It was somewhere along the lines of "You cannot truly love your spouse if you do not love God". I believe that with all my soul. You can't love your spouse if you don't love God because without God you don't know what love is. I can promise you that if you ask God to come into your heart He will not say no. Wow... this is not the message I was trying to get across. Well, when you think that divorce is the only way it is very possible that you're wrong! Please keep trying. Who knows? It might be worth it!
